Um, did that really just happen?

So, imagine this scene, if you will.

It's 11:30 pm. I'm standing in my apartment lounge with my three roommates. One of us is eating dinner, we're all watching the analysis of the US presidential debate on ONE News, we're discussing possible Halloween costumes. You know. A normal Thursday night here in UniLodge.

I head back into my room and I'm about the grab Eclipse and head to bed. Then there's a knock at the door. Well, there's a noise at the door.

"Did you guys just hear a knock or something?" Kathy asks us all. She's finishing up her dinner.

We all kind of make a noise of confirmation, and then simultaneously all get up because we swear we can hear someone trying to unlock our door. Kathy opens the door a crack, holding a half-eaten bowl of potatoes in her free hand, and instantly, a drunk Asian girl pushes through and flops onto our floor.

"Holy shit!"

"Hey, hey!" Kathy taps the blob of girl on our floor. "Hey, this isn't your room. Where's your room? What's your name?"

She moans.

She's deadweight. In our doorway. Immobile, but breathing and occasionally moaning.

My roommates and I are absolutely bewildered. Of course we're laughing.

And then all of a sudden... this random girl vomits in our doorway. It's really more in our living room than in the doorway, actually.

I'm still kind of laughing, but no longer because it's funny. Only because I can't believe this is actually happening.

So, I grab my UniLodge handbook and my roommate calls the after hours security number. A few minutes later, a kindly Maori man comes up to our room, and he obviously has no idea what to do.

No, we don't know her. No, we don't know where she lives. Hm, we actually don't know if she speaks English...

The security guard got her name and room number out of her, and then left her in our doorway to see if she has roommates.

20 minutes later, after the girl has rolled in her own vomit, shakily gotten to her feet, tried to walk into my bedroom, and then sat on our couch in her vomit-covered pajamas, the security guard came back and told us she has no roommates, so he was going back downstairs to call the police. So he left us with her again.

The girl was strong, believe you me, and hard to restrain even if we wanted to touch her pukey PJs. So, against our will, she got up and took a little walk in our hallway. Sort of following her, we tried to warn the occupants behind the door she knocked on to not open it, but our cries went unheard. So, she flopped into the doorway of another unsuspecting fifth floor-er.

Poor Brian... He didn't have to be involved. But this drunk girl promptly passed out. In his doorway. With a vice grip on his leg. He tried talking to her in Korean-- we think she answered him back, but it was pretty incoherent.

At least she didn't vom.

Seriously a half hour later, the security guard came back with four police officers... Poor girl, but she was belligerent.

We made friends with Brian, though. Glad to finally meet the neighbors.

So, now it's 12:46 pm. Our apartment door's open for ventilation, we've Febrezed everything, the fan's blowing... And it still smells like someone else's barf in my apartment.